Never Perfect

♥ The mom of two beautiful children named Medina Sofea and Mikael Syarf ♥
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Basecode by: Aina Syaza
Editor: Amel Jasmeen
Owner: ♥ Fash Nurfazlina ♥

My first post after one and a half years!
It has been a long time since I wrote a post on my blog. Almost one and a half years! So many things happened. Bad things and good things. But I believe everything in life happens for a reason.

Dan Kami akan uji kalian dengan keburukan dan kebaikan sebagai cubaan dan kepada Kamilah kamu akan kembali. (Surah Al-Anbiya; ayat 35)

4th October 2012 : Miscarriage at 13 weeks. Notice little tiny spots of blood on my undies. Went to the clinic after Maghrib prayer. The doctor said there was no heartbeat and I was having a miscarriage. Luluh hati. I was given the options of wait for it to pass naturally or have a D&C. Still hoping for a miracle so I choose to pass it naturally. The next day, went to Naluri Medical Center. Dr. Kay confirmed that there was no fetal heartbeat. I was scheduled for a D&C tomorrow. The doctor advised me to rest at home. She was sort of afraid I would faint. Tapi saya degil. My husband, Sofea and I went for an evening walk at Taman Layang-Layang Kepong. I prayed so hard for a natural miscarriage to happen. Rasa tak sampai hati nak remove our dead baby from my body secara paksa. Entah lar but I feel like I owe it to my baby to try and pass it naturally. I just don't like being bullied into a procedure when there are plenty of reasons not to do it. Alhamdulillah after Maghrib prayer, I felt some cramping and saw some large clots passed. The fetus came out fully in sac *tears Went to NMC tomorrow morning, undergo ultrasound procedure before the doctor decided to perform D&C because there was tissue remaining that needed to be cleared. Ok pasrah dan redha. Kena almost RM 1.5k jugak la. My body healed and recovered relatively quickly. Alhamdulillah. But emotionally, the healing process took much longer. *tears

17th November 2013 : My daughter, Medina Sofea just turned two. In the two years she has gone from being a baby to a big sister. But one thing for sure she'll always be my baby, mummy's little girl. 

Ya Allah…
Didiklah anak-anakku menjadi insan yang Engkau redhai
Engkaulah pelindung iman dan taqwa mereka
Moga mereka ceria di dunia dan di akhirat
Tiadalah daya upayaku
Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim
Biarlah wajah anak-anakku sentiasa tenang seperti mereka sedang tidur
Pada hari mereka mengadapMu nanti
Biarlah wajah mereka
Sebersih sesuci masa kecilnya
Tidak seperti wajah-wajah mereka yang engkau ancam dengan nerakaMu
Seperti yang diceritakan dalam KitabMu
Berilah pada mereka kitab amal mereka ditangan kanan mereka
Ku mohon padaMu ya Allah ya Rahman
Pilihlah anak-anakku menjadi insan yang mewarisi Syurga Firdaus Mu
Peliharalah aqidah mereka di dunia yang penuh fitnah ini
Pandanglah wajah mereka dengan belas kasihanMu
Moga mereka sentiasa dalam redaMu

14th November 2013 : The greatest thing happened in my life. Safely delivered our little caliph weighed 3.0 kg through normal vaginal delivery. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah. Yakinlah, rancangan Allah adalah sebaik-baik perencanaan. Will share the story later. 

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